Boooonjour! This past week was super filled with a lot of great lessons, as we spent the first half of it in Lyon for our leadership training. There was a statement made there that really stuck out to me. And that was: The 2 most important things we've been given in this life are time and agency. I am so grateful to have 6 more months to CHOOSE to use my TIME to become more like Christ. As I was preparing to skype my family this week, I thought about the kind of changes I've made in the last year since the last time we were together. A HUGE wave of gratitude for the Atonement washed over me. I thought a lot about the person I was before my mission. I wasn't anyone terrible I'd like to think, but I know I could have been someone better. I have a lot of regrets, I have a lot of things I wish I could take back, I have a lot of things I wish I would have done differently. I don't think I'm that unique in wishing those things. And as I've been a missionary, I have come to realize a lot that needed to change about myself. I'm still working on changing a lot of those things, so I can become more like my Savior. It will be a forever on-going process, I'm well aware. For those of you who know my mission story, over the past year I've come to figure out that a huge reason why the Lord needed me on a mission, was because He needed me to make a lot of changes. That's one of the billions of reasons why I'm so grateful I chose to come out here. But before you think I'm just sitting here beating myself up, I want you to know how this train of thought actually makes me really happy. We watched the video "Because of Him" at leadership council. If you haven't seen it, go look it up on lds.org right now! But there is one part in there that talks about us getting "second chances", thanks to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. That part hit me so hard this week as I watched that. I thought about how that is so true. And we don't just get a second chance, we get a third, a fourth, it's endless. The Atonement is infinite. I felt an incredible amount of peace, love, and gratitude just fill my entire being as I saw that scene. I knew that was the spirit telling me that no matter who I was before, it doesn't matter in the eyes of the Lord anymore. When we repent, when we really change, He forgives us and He sees us only through eyes of love for who we can become. We don't have to regret who we once were, we can just be grateful that we have the opportunity to become someone better each and every day. I can't thank my Savior enough for giving His life for me so that I can keep trying to be better every time I mess up. I can't explain my love for Him and how clearly I know He loves me. I would be remissed if I didn't attribute much of my testimony of the Savior and His Atonement to the lessons taught to me by my mother while growing up. Like the Savior, she always freely forgave me. Like the Savior, she still loved me even when I messed up. Like the Savior, she saw me only for who I could become. Like the Savior, she sacrifices all every single day, to help me be happy and become the person she knows I can be. Like the Savior, she leads and guides me through her example of pure love and charity towards others. Like the Savior, she makes me want to be a better person and serve those around me, just as she has always served me. I am so grateful for my dear mother. For those of you who get to talk to your mom more than just an hour and a half a week, please tell her how much she means to you. First figure out why, and then tell her. Let her know how loved and appreciated she is. I love this work. I love what I'm doing, and I love what it's doing to me. I hope you all have a wonderful week! Love always,Soeur Shields
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November 2015
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